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Hi, I am Casey!

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Letter to my 9 Year Old Self

Letter to my 9 Year Old Self

Hi Case,

How are you doing? Hows the new school? The new step mother? How is balancing two homes, two families, three parents? I know it is hard but trust me when I tell you, the struggles you are facing now are going to be so worth it in the end. I am 20 now. Isn’t that crazy? I don’t want to tell you where I am, what college I attended, who my best friends are, or any of that because part of the beauty is finding it yourself but I am going to give you some words of advice. From me to me. I hope to helps but even if it does nothing, just know that in eleven short years you are deeply loved, well taken care of, happy, and healthy.

So lets start at being 9 years old. That wasn’t a very easy year. Mom and Dad got divorced, dad remarried, you switched schools, moved towns, and had to start over and make new friends. There was a lot that went on, but I think the hardest thing over the next couple of years is going to be friends. You are going to be desperate for companionships. All you will want is to be included and apart of the friend group. You may walk down to the cafeteria one day and find you whole friend group who you saw just 5 minutes ago, gone. When you realize they are in the guidance counselors room and you were the only one not invited, don’t go to the bathroom and cry. Yes, allow yourself to be sad, but take that opportunity to sit with new people. Don’t force friendships and try so hard to have people like you. You are wonderful, so kind, caring, loving, if they don’t see it or appreciate it find people that do.

You are so incredibly intelligent. You will feel like the dumbest person in your class when you get pulled out to go to the learning center to work on reading and spelling. But this is a gift. It is helping you become a better reader and speller, it is not meant to kill your confidence, so don’t let it. You will realize in high school, your brain works differently than others. But honestly, it is such a gift. You’re so creative, whitty, cleaver, and unique. Some of your best friends and the most intelligent people you will know share the same or similar learning disabilities. There are different forms of intelligences, and nobody even cares that much about spelling…we have spell check now…do you have that? Haha, not as advanced. Oh and Siri, you will meet someone named Siri, she’s a real hoot but I don’t want to give her away. Just know that even though you have an aid, go to the learning center, and struggle in many areas your peers don’t, doesn’t mean you are not smart. Volunteer to read out loud in class more and find alternative ways to study if the ones you are trying don’t seem to work. Making songs helps. Study with mom, she makes everything funny. I’ll never forget where the condyle or hallux are thanks to her jokes!

Be kinder to your sister. She admires you so much. She wants to wear the clothes you wear and be just like you. Spend more time with her, teach her to be a better version of you. You only have one sister and it is amazing how much you will miss her once you go to college. Your brother is great too. He is the sweetest boy, so kind and caring. He’s a little sensitive probably because he has grown up in a house full of women but that is one of his most amazing qualities. Spend as much time with him as you can, you will realize later how much he means to you and how fun he is to be around.

Focus on your girl friends. Making friends is second nature to you. You’re an amazing friend, because you learned how to be one through the unkind people and bad friends you had. You especially have a gift making friends with girls. Maybe an all girls school? What do you think? But seriously, know how amazing and IMPORTANT girl friends are to have! They last forever! Boys come and go. Don’t waste your time on boys, especially not yet. All your friends in high school with boyfriends have broken up with them. You learn a lot from those experiences but don’t chase the boys. The are only worth it if you find the right one, one who makes you geek so hard you can’t breathe, who is respectful, in touch with their emotions and appreciates your sensitivity, makes you feel loved, comfortable, and special, challenges you intellectually, has depth, is honest, loyal, protective and overly affectionate then maybe then you can let yourself fall in love, but if you haven’t found that yet, wait. Don’t spend all of high school creating just a partnership that may or may not last. Create many friendships that will last a lifetime. You know the country songs about love and all the romance movies you are obsessed with wait for that kind of love. The fairytale love. It exists, it takes work, but you can create that.

Take more risks. Middle school and high school are about growing. Honestly, be okay if you fail a test in 6th grade. It doesn’t even matter. Not in the slightest. I’d rather fail when I have a safety net than when I’m in the real world with people who are too busy to catch me. Putting yourself out there now will just enable success and the things you want or teach you resilience. Both are great. Don’t be so scared of everything, it is so not worth it.

Don’t be afraid to be different. Actually, try to be different. Dress differently, value different things than your peers, spend time with people who are different from you. You are not perfect and will never be, stop striving for that. People strive for perfection because they know if they reached perfection they would be different…because nobody has ever perfected themselves, you won’t either. Instead just be different. Unique. Push the boundaries. Be confident and believe in yourself enough to let yourself be different from the crowd. “The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” – Albert Einstein.

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My 30 year old self hasn’t written me yet. I wish she would. Give me advice. Part of the beauty is finding it all out on your own though. Everything works out in the end. Know that. Love and appreciate every experience, everything can be good if you choose to see it that way. I love you, I wish I could squeeze you and mentor you so you don’t struggle as much, but honestly you’re in such a good place as a result. 11 years goes by so fast. I’ll write you again soon! Have fun with the next 11 years, they are so amazing!



Love Always,

Casey

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