Love Letter to my Crush

“I am not afraid of getting hurt because I know how to create beauty out of everything.” -Maryam Hasnaa

Dear,

I love your energy. You already knew that though. What I am really trying to say, and I only know how to say it the way I used to when I was in third grade, I like like you. I have a crush on you. Thinking about you makes me giddy and I get all excited when I see you. I have felt this way for some time now but I really didn’t know how to say it or if I should. You see, I like you so much I don’t want to lose you. I kind of just want to be with you and around you as much as I can. I don’t want to tell you I have feelings and then make things awkward in our relationship. I like you too much to lose you over something silly like the romantic feelings not being mutual. Whether we are soulmates in terms of just being best friends or soulmates in terms of being in love with each other, I am honestly fine with either. Having you just as a friend has brought me so much love and joy, so thank you for touching my life in such a beautiful way.

But let me explain myself a little more. You deserve to know and hear how truly amazing you are, and it is quite unfortunate that letters like this aren’t written to people more often. First, as you know, I think you are absolutely hilarious and I love that we can build off each others humor. But it is not just your wit and your intellectual humor. I love how silly you are. You are fun, you make life fun. I love how you are just yourself; weird, silly, quirky, childish, and goofy. You don’t even need to try, you are just pure light. You are someone who fills me up with so much laugher and joy.

I also love and appreciate that you are sensitive, thoughtful, and deep. My dad is one of the strongest and largest people I know, I guess that is probably how most division 1 football linebackers are…just huge. Yet, he is one of the most sensitive and emotional people I know. He wears his heart on his sleeve and allows others to see it. He has taught me that strength is not how little you can allow yourself to feel or care, rather it is allowing yourself to feel and care about everything and still be loving and open with the world even when you can be hurt. I love that you are strong like that too. I love that you will get emotional and are not ashamed by that. It is beautiful and inspiring and makes me feel comfortable letting my guard down. Around you, I feel safe and protected. I don’t know if I can say I have ever felt that way around a guy before.

I love that you see and like me for who I am and what I love. I have talked to many of my friends both guys and girls about my how much I love the moon, how I one day hope to own a farm, how I want to brew kombucha, or how I can’t wait to have a beehive full with bees and wear my pink beekeeping outfit to extract the beautiful honey they produce, and many of them smirk or brush it off, but thanks for being supportive about it. Even if those things don’t particularly get you all excited like they do me, thanks for caring enough about me to listen to me talk about the things that I am passionate about. You make me feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

I also really do think you are incredibly cute. However, that is not why I like you the way I do. There are so many cute boys, too many, but there is only one you. You know, for a long time and honestly still sometimes, I look in the mirror and think what could I do or change to be more attractive or more beautiful? To be loved romantically? I am actually crying right now, writing this. It didn’t really occur to me until right now. I like you for so many more important reasons than the way you look. I love that you are you and the way you make me feel. I love that you are kind, affectionate, thoughtful, so so funny, silly, and loving. I love that you are hard working, have dreams, that you are interesting, that you look me in the eyes when we talk, and that you hug me longer than most people do. I am trying to type this through tears in my eyes because up until now, it never occurred to me that maybe the person who is going to like like me like I like like you, got that? Maybe they are going to be attracted to me for the same reasons I am you. Maybe they are going to like me for me, who I am, for my heart, my soul and for far more important qualities than my external appearance. For someone to love me like that I can wait a long time, because I don’t believe there is anything more magical than true love.

Regardless of your feelings, write me back. Even if it doesn’t work out, I would keep that letter forever. And if soulmates who are not romantic is the better option for our relationship that too is still such a gift to me. As I have gotten older the crushes I have formed on boys have only gotten more beautiful and special so if it is not you, it is going to be someone else so incredibly amazing, I have no doubt that he is out there.

I really thought sharing these feelings would be one of the hardest things for me, but honestly, telling you how amazing you are is so easy. The thought of you reading this letter and feeling so loved, appreciated, and valued brings me nothing but happiness. You have touched my life in such a beautiful way that I am not afraid anymore. Thank you for being you, and helping to teach me how to be me.

With Love,

Casey

I am sharing this letter I wrote for two reasons. Most importantly, know that people feel this way about you. Just because people don’t always vocalize things they love about you or qualities they admire, doesn’t mean you aren’t being admired for all that you are, everyday. This is a letter I wrote about someone and they still don’t know it.

The second reason is to make us all think about how we would react to a letter like this. I can’t imagine how grateful and loved I would feel. At the end of the day that is all we want right? To be loved. So why is it that we all just guard ourselves. I have found vulnerability to be the best way to free myself. One of the most attractive things in a person is emotional vulnerability, so why would I not use that to my advantage? Vulnerability is what makes us human. It is what makes us beautiful. It is what connects us to love. If we lead with love, express more love, then maybe we too, would feel more love. Be the energy you wish to attract and live more in the uncomfortable.

Love Always,

Casey