When You Dance, Again.
The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.
—Julia Cameron
You’ll dance again. In that new floral dress that you love to spin around in. You will have a hard time falling asleep as you will be smiling at the ceiling and replaying the whole weekend in your head. You’ll remember why you love kissing so much and how awesome it is to live with a bunch of girls that feel like sisters. You’ll find writing easier and easier, because you won’t be chasing, longing, trying so hard for them to notice you. You’ll realize the most creative, is the act of creating yourself. That what is yours will find you. You just have to be patient, calm, and present. This is attractive. And you will demand authenticity of yourself, and then of others. With all this work, you will be so surprised how in the mood you are for love, again. And your influence, confidence, goofiness, and ability to bring people together will be something that others speak of on their West Side Highway walks and attempt to emulate.
And you will undress again, metaphorically of course. Resting down your bright rings, pulling back your fantastically voluminous hair, opening your heart, being more brave and courageous this time, to be seen, known, loved, adored and beheld. You’ll still have the book he gave you hanging in your apartment, with a title that reads: Wake Up Alone and Like it! But these days, you will.
Perfume and music are the best to remember things. You will still get a flash back when you smell Le Labo Noir 29. and when John Mayer’s You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me comes on, you’ll often skip it. Time heals, so let it. One day you will think, you were not human enough yet, for me. And you’ll realize your attachment style is no longer glue. Then, and only then you will begin again. Stronger, softer, more colorful, more aware, someone to be the most proud of. You will realize why everything played out the way it did. Why heartbreak and heartache was so necessary, pivotal. Despite what you thought, you will be grateful he let you go, so you could grow into her.
Time flies. Many full moons have risen. Don’t you sea? There'll be no punishment here, you just had an experience. Run, faster than I could, but you won’t catch up to her. I guess this is the work. If only I had known the joy that goes beyond settling. The nerves, the excitement, the power. The meaning behind real love, and how proud I feel these days. This time, your friends will love him. We’re going to make this place beautiful. You have made this place beautiful.
When you bring the next man into your room, he will relish the artwork you put up, Did you make this? Where did you find this? Can I read your writing? Mischief, audacity, a mirror, a teacher, a teammate, “May you attract someone who is emotionally ready to do their part to create a beautiful relationship with you”. The opposite of settling, needing or lust. I love it here.
Finally, you will feel the duality of giddy, excited, nervous, and simultaneously so open, safe, respected and desired. Alive, again. This is the type of artist you are. You’ll realize it was you all along, that made this story beautiful. Then with courage, you’ll share it, so the next one in line for the garden of love, enters with hope, yet again.
With Love,
Casey
