Playfully Yours,

I will live for love and the rest will take care of itself.

-Marina Keegan

When was the last time you saw your best friend run at full speed? When fishing for tuna, how long do you wait for nibbles before settling for trout? I have to tell you, I really am starting to love when my stomach drops and I get nervous in front of a boy, who holds my eye contact and makes me say awkward things. When I need a pep talk in the bathroom with my girls it resembles something of this sort; some people are too afraid to feel this, you are so lucky right now. Alive. 20 seconds of courage. You have to let go in order for the Universe to come in. I want to be in love again. To feel those giddy, nervous, excited, “fanny flutters” as Alex calls them. When I come home from a long day at work all I really just want is you to kiss my forehead and remind me none this is that serious. None of this! Only that we are. Us. At the end of the day, the thing that matters is that we love and let ourselves be loved. That we dance when music plays and remember that frustration dissolves in the presence of open hearts. Of course I want a comfortable life, I hope you do as well, but even more than all of that, I just want your scent next to me as we navigate this journey together.

With all this said, you should know. Among the chaos of everyday life there are simple moments that ground me. I call these ordinary moments of encounter: moments of playfulness. They remind me to not be so hard on myself. That I am human; that we are all human. I marvel at them like a child experiencing it all for the first time. The unseriousness of it all. The ordinary and simple magnificence. Excited to be here. Grateful to feel how these moments connect us as humans, people who seek to love and be loved. Sometimes I think we just forget how epic it is to be here, with you, in this shared magic. I just absolutely love it. 

I love to dance in my bedroom by myself for hours, just like when I was young. I love being fed even though I don’t cook much. I have found there is nothing that signals love more than Carly with a fork full of wagyu steak feeding me while I'm jumping into the shower. I love underwear that covers my whole butt and how big a baby's butt looks with a diaper on. The smell of campfire that gets plunged deep into whatever clothing you were wearing at the occasion. Dogs that get pee shy, while still having to “do their business” in public. I love when red wine has sediment at the bottom, how dancers reveal themselves on the street when they have headphones in. I love Spindrift, absolutely love it, no better seltzer. When the sky splits and it's raining only on half the sidewalk. When a friend calls out of the blue to tell you something funny that happened at work. A kiwi accent and Aussie sense of humor. When someone at the farmers market makes a sexual innuendo at a piece of fruit and we laugh together. I love when people who wear glasses scrunch their nose to adjust them and how practically everything can be taped to the wall with velcro. When people who are multitasking, hold their phone with just their shoulder. Forehead kisses. I love when teenagers sharing wired headphones on the train don’t actually move closer to each other; they just have ½ the earbud in their ear and how water tastes when I drink it out of a martini glass. When someone walks down the street with an “iced coffee” the color of milk and I am a total sucker for really big ears. Telling someone on the street with a big dog: “you must have a huge apartment”. Or when young boys have scarves that are too big for them. I love to think about how everyone I pass on my way to work used to be a baby and how awkward the man in front of me at Starbucks was telling the barista it was his birthday. I love all the ordinary things that remind me just how magnificently, beautifully, unserious this all is.

I can’t wait for you to join me as we marvel at this life.

Playfully Yours,

Casey