Falling in Love.

“How is your love life, he asked.

It’s wonderful, I said, my whole life is love.”

-Maryam Hasnaa

For as long as I can remember I have always day dreamed of falling in love. If you know me beyond my blog or social media you probably know my favorite topic of discussion is love. My instagram bio at the moment sums me up by saying “Lover of love” and every time I pass by a heart or T-shirt with the word “love” on it I think the universe is trying to tell me something…and maybe it has been. Maybe it has been trying to tell me that love is everywhere if I choose to see it.

You see, until this year, a huge year for me in terms of learning, growing and reflecting, I had always looked at “love” as this beautiful thing I was anticipating on one day having and I could not wait. So although I would like to take full credit for deciding to conclude the “waiting” and plunge myself head first into all the experiences of love I had for too long been admiring from a distance, I can only take some of the credit. The other credit belongs to the COVID-19 pandemic for breaking my heart, shaking up my routines, stretching me so thin, and boring me half to death. Honestly, without COVID-19 I don’t think I could have come to understand, believe, and appreciate as deeply as I do that I am in charge of how often, how deeply, with what, and of course with who I fall in love with.

Here’s the other thing I learned. The more I acknowledge, express gratitude for, and share with others my feelings of love…the more love I seem to feel. The more awareness and attention you give to the love around you and within you the more energy you give to feeding that love so it can grow. It is like watering a tree that will soon gift you fruit, the better you care for it and the more energy you put towards nurturing it, the higher quality and more abundant quantity fruit you will be gifted. I really do hope you cultivate the courage in yourself to tell a women on the street you love her hat or to take a few moments to tell your best friend how much you love the thoughtfulness and honesty she brings to all the conversations you share, but what is most important is that you acknowledge these things to yourself. It is nice to share the fruit with others but what’s debatably more important is doing the behind the scenes work so that the tree can in fact produce fruit.

And with all of these new found perspectives and learned lessons, I fell deeply in love. I fell in love with a job where I “worked” from a place of love. Where I was paid in hugs, laugher, books, fairy houses, playing spit, dinnertime conversation, advice over dessert, sharing stories and so so many baked goods. I fell in love with my major and the ways in which my professors and classmates where able to help me strengthen my weaknesses and who supported and encouraged me by sharing with me their acknowledgment and appreciation of my strengths. I fell in love with fashion to a degree I had never before and I spent some of my extra time thanks to COVID-19 discussing designers, staple pieces and assembling outfits with one of the most inspiring and fashionable designers and store owners Beth, who owns and manages Kiki D. Design and Consign. She's absolutely amazing and I cannot thank her enough for helping me fall in love with all my different fashion styles. I also fell in love with reading, something I always thought I was “bad at” because I struggled with it in elementary school, but I actually think I am pretty good at it and with reading, I fell in love with learning beyond the classroom. Through the books I read I fell in love with authors Brené Brown, Mark Nepo, Carol Dweck, Katty Kay, Stephan S. Claire Shipman, Gabrielle Bernstein, and Chanel Miller, each and everyone of you inspired me, grew my understanding, and of course helped me fall in love in a new way.

Finally, the the most fulfilling, inspirational, and beautiful way I fell in love this year was with my inner circle of friends and people closest to me. To the people who I call to debrief my day, who go out of their way and even cancel their dinner plans to comfort me when I am grieving, struggling, sad or crying, and who selflessly provide TLC (for those of you who don’t know that stands for tender love and care). To the people who share advice and stories with me from times they were in my same situation, who I fall asleep talking to on the phone, who listen deeply, who always will cuddle with me, who make me pee my pants laughing and who pee their pants laughing when I tell some of my stories. To the people who know by texting me if I am sleeping and why it sends as a text message (PSA everyone should put their phone on airplane mode when they sleep to reduce the active radiation!!!), who have taken the time to write me a letter because they know how much it means to me and who above all made me feel and begin to believe that my imperfect but authentic self is the most beautiful and lovable version of me, to these people…I am head over heals for you in every possible way.

So going back to that analogy I used at the beginning, these last ten months I have been watering the tree or in other words loving the tree that I am and loving those people who helped me grow myself to produce such beautiful, vibrant, delicious, and of course organic fruit. Throughout this whole process, year, semester, and transformative time I can honestly say I fell more in love with myself as well. Although I don’t know how to fully explain it, I have noticed a big shift in myself. I have always loved to sing while I am driving in the car but now when I am stopped at a light next to another car and they look at me, I no longer stop singing…now sometimes I even sing to them…I just can’t wait until one day they sing into the pretend microphone I hold up. Through all this I learned to have more patience with myself and that I don’t need someone else to listen to my joke for it to be absolutely hilarious. I have continued to fall deeply in love with my ability to share so easily with others all the aspects and qualities in them that I love and appreciate.

With all of this, my hope for you is that you choose today to fall in love! If this resonated and inspired you or made you think of someone who could benefit from reading this post, please feel free to share! I absolutely loved writing this blog post!

As always feel free to connect with me here or DM me with any ideas, questions or just to say hi! I am totally in love with connecting with you guys! Stay healthy, well, and filled with love!

Love Always,

Casey