Fostering a Positive Attitude
Recently in my yoga teacher training course we discussed suffering. Do you know what the opposite of suffering is? My teacher revealed to our class that it was understanding. We discussed Avidya which translates to “incorrect comprehension” this alone just let out an entire flood of thoughts that inevitably spun around my head for some time. Could this be true? I kept asking myself. Was the lack of understanding actually the cause of suffering? Well, maybe not in every situation…but most definitely in some. I thought about when I was a child and how I disliked “green juice” I have always always been a LOVER of fresh squeezed orange juice, but when instead I was given green juice I would run away…I even think I put it in my dogs water dish one time…haha I was wild and quite a creative…if I do say so myself! Wow, it is crazy the memories that come back when you start thinking about your childhood you know? And yes, I know my taste buds have changed to an extent, but I still prefer the taste of fresh squeezed orange juice over kale, spinach, parsley, asparagus, lime, and what is that crunchy one…celery…used to dislike that one so much! However, now when I drink my green juice, I don’t feel that I am suffering..even if the taste isn’t that desirable, I understand the benefits of drinking it and that understanding actually makes me choose a green juice when I go to the juice bar! Crazy how powerful our minds are!! Anyway, my point here is, it has been in my experience that I have so much strength and can endure so much more “pain” or “suffering” when I understand the benefits that come from it and the ways it will foster growth in the future.
Obviously the green juice thing is just a simple way I found this “end of suffering is understanding” to be true. However, if I look back on my life and my experiences so far, the times I have suffered, struggled, been hurt, the times where people were mean to me, excluded me, made me feel dumb, under qualified, whatever it was, those were the times I was able to gain the greatest understanding for how to better tend and treat those around me and inevitably make myself a better and a more compassionate person. Being excluded in 4th and 5th grade and being told “I only invited you to my birthday party because my mom made me” absolutely broke me. These words and actions made me feel so embarrassed, hurt, insecure, excluded, unworthy, but from them I really gained this understanding for how to be inclusive, why it is important to go the extra mile to show others you love, care, and value them. Because I didn’t feel included, chosen, and valued by my “friends'“…that is how I learned how to make others feel the opposite. Now I am not saying I never unintentionally make someone feel excluded or forget to extend an invite I meant to. But because of these experiences and other hurtful experiences like them I now have a better understanding of who I want to be, how I want to make people feel, and the ways I can do that. My ability to be inclusive, vocalize what I love and admire in others and be welcoming and friendly are now some of my strongest qualities and some of the things that I love most about myself. Since I have had this time to heal and gather this understanding, I can honestly say I am grateful to have been excluded…I am grateful now to have suffered then.
During the time I was actually feeling this pain from being excluded, it was an abundance of hurtful emotions that shattered me and my confidence immensely. But if I could do it all over again, I would choose to feel that pain and suffering every time, because for me, that is how I came to be strong. To understand the power of be inclusive and kind and how I could become a person for someone else, that I so badly wanted and needed when I was in that same position.
So to answer one of the three most asked questions I get, “How do you stay so positive?”, my answer is I take time to reflect and understand. Understanding myself, other people, and why things happen has helped me to understand what a gift these experiences can be. Now I understand the benefits that taking risks can have, I often say to myself I will either get what I want from taking this risk or I will learn. In my eyes, both results are positive and result in some form of a gain.
As always, I absolutely love hearing from you guys…yes even the people who slide into my DMs and say “Hi Casey I know you don’t know me but I read your blog”…I am going to watch the sunset with a girl next week who reached out to me regarding my blog! Please don’t be afraid I love connecting with you all…and it is an easy risk because you know the outcome will be positive!
Feel free to share this with anyone who may be struggling right now, maybe just reading my thoughts will help them gain a better understanding and inevitably help them start to feel better! I also have linked one of my favorite TedTalks here titled How the worst moments in or lives make us who we are. Oh and get a peak of the waxing crescent moon tonight!!
Love Always,
Casey
